A Decades-Long Struggle with Gender Nonconformity

Advice columnist Amy Dickinson hears from and responds to a 60-year-old who has experienced a decades-long struggle with gender nonconformity.

Dear Amy:

I follow the letters in your column regarding gender nonconformity with interest, including the recent series, beginning with “Auntie’s” refusal to use her teenage niece’s preferred they/them pronouns.

I took many decades to come to terms with the fact that I am transgender.

I spent decades in and out of therapy and on antidepressants, trying to align my soul with the body into which I was born.

But now, in my 60s, I’ve come to terms with who I am.

My lifelong depression lifted, and now I have genuine friendships because it is me who is relating to people, rather than the persona that I created.

I now know what it means to live life, rather than merely exist.

One mother’s experience: What we want most for our children

People can relate to the gender nonconforming persons in their lives as they see fit. That is their right.

They should not be surprised, however, if the gender-nonconforming person decides, as I have, to spend their time with the people who love and respect them for who they are.

– The Truth Comes Out in the End

Dear Truth:

Thank you for outlining your challenges and experience with gender nonconformity. I hope your story will help others to understand and lead them toward compassion.

Want to get even more life tips from Amy? Read more of her advice columns here!

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart – ranging from a struggle with gender nonconformity to DNA surprises. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068

© 2021 by Amy Dickinson