Conversations Overheard in Public
Should the ‘quiet car’ really be that silent?
After listening to an insufferable one-way mobile phone conversation on the subway, humorist Greg Schwem ponders overheard conversations: public mobile phone use, quiet subway cars, and discussions with strangers.
The man sat in the half full subway car as the Chicago skyline whizzed by on a humid Thursday morning. Oblivious to the heat or the scenery, he was only interested in discussing his problems with the unseen and unheard voice at the other end of his phone.
Between the Midway Airport and Roosevelt stops, I learned the following:
The servers were malfunctioning, and he may have to work this weekend to ensure proper uptime.
If Celine comes to the party Saturday, the least she could do is bring some White Claws. But that’s probably not going to happen because, after all, we are talking about Celine.
You’d think Southwest would have cheaper fares to Denver, but the airline industry has gotten so greedy since COVID.
Biden STILL has his vote, despite calling Trump his “vice president.” NOTE: This conversation occurred before a certain commander-in-chief agreed to step aside.
Fellow passengers glared at him. Head shakes and eye rolls abounded. Some donned AirPods or headphones so they wouldn’t have to listen to the nonstop stream of chatter, which only grew louder as the train rumbled along and became more crowded. A few were probably convinced they knew Celine.
This scene plays out daily: Mobile phone users rambling on as if the world’s population had suddenly shrunk to two inhabitants. Debate over talking on cellphones in public began about five minutes after cellphones were invented, with no consensus ever reached. Thankfully, air travel is still phone-free once flight attendants make the “switch to airplane mode” announcement, and everyone complies except the guy in 12D screaming at his bathroom contractor about the shower door that has yet to arrive and he is looking at another TWO WEEKS of showering in his THIRD bathroom!
Trains, such as the one I use to commute between Chicago and its suburbs, have designated “quiet cars.” Passengers in these cars tap on their phones but avoid talking on them, confident they are obeying the rules.
But are they?
Some of these passengers amiably chat with fellow riders. Some conversations turn lively. Also loud. How, I wondered, is this not a violation of quiet car etiquette? Is talking on a phone rude, or is talking in general rude if doing either disturbs the inner tranquility of those within earshot?
Welcoming overheard conversations
Personally, I enjoy eavesdropping on other people’s lives, no matter who they are talking to. I’ve met new friends in bars this way. Recently, I booked a corporate speaking date after overhearing an insurance agent in an airport food court praising Tucson as the site of his company’s upcoming annual conference. I asked if that conference included keynote speakers. He put me in touch with the company’s meeting planner, and now I’m researching plane schedules. Southwest is slightly cheaper, by the way.
COVID-19 may have resulted in higher travel fares, but it also deprived us of communication skills. We grew used to and, in some cases, thrived on solitude. Zoom enabled us to mute our microphones and turn off our cameras if we wanted to step away from the world around us.
I am certainly not condoning public phone conversations, for I don’t know if I could handle sitting next to a fellow commuter yammering about his or her weekend plans, even if mine were more interesting. But I find a world of conversation preferable to one of silence, as society learns nothing from the latter. In past columns I’ve written about my habit of inserting myself into strangers’ conversations, some with pleasant results and others deteriorating into looks that say, “Please get away from us, you creepy nosy old guy.” But I will never cease my habit, for I find it educational. Also fun.
So, guy on the train with the server issue, continue your conversation; but please imagine if the person on the other end were standing next to you. Keep the volume at that level. You will not get an eye roll from me.
When you’re done, maybe we can discuss Kamala.
Greg Schwem is a corporate stand-up comedian and author of two books: Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad and the recently released The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian, available at Amazon.com. Visit Greg on the web at www.gregschwem.com.
© 2024 Greg Schwem. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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