A Man Corrects His Wife Frequently
Even when she’s right or when they’re out in public
A man corrects his wife frequently – even when she’s right, and even when they’re out in public. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.
Dear Eric:
Often when I make a comment or tell a story my husband corrects me. If I try and defend what I’ve said, he just implies that I’m wrong and he’s right. It can be embarrassing when we are out socially. Most of the time I let it slide. Because if I try to point out that I’m correct and he’s wrong, he just carries on as if he’s right.
At home, I’ll find evidence that proves that I was right. He just goes “Oh.” I explain to him that I am embarrassed by him correcting me in front of others. He doesn’t seem to care. What should I do?
– Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed:
We have a respect problem here. It’s bad enough that your husband’s default mode seems to be assuming that you’re wrong about everything. That’s an unhealthy place from which to operate in any relationship, to say the least. But his non-response to you when you tell him that his behavior hurts you is downright callous.
Even if, in his opinion, you are getting details wrong, he needs to treat you with enough respect and empathy that any corrections are offered in a helpful manner and at the right time. But, more importantly, who cares if the details are wrong? It’s your story! He needs to just pipe down and let you finish.
I encourage you to stop letting it slide. Tell him, “I don’t like when you correct me. It’s not helpful. I want you to stop. Can you respect my wishes?” You can tell him in private and remind him when you’re out socially. I’d also encourage you to stop trying to prove your point to him. He’s not a good audience for it. I think both of your energies would be better spent working – probably with a therapeutically trained third party – on what’s behind his need to correct in the first place.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.” Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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