He Fights Getting Older, Even in Bed

By R. Eric Thomas | April 4th, 2025

And he wants to ‘knock it out of the park’ every time

A man and woman dance a classic dance at home, with a winter wonderland outside. Asking Eric column on a man who fights getting older, even in bed. Image by Pojoslaw

A man in his 60s fights getting older, including in his dating life, where he expects to “knock it out of the park.” Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in, from his male perspective.

Dear Eric:

I’m a guy in my mid-60s, in relatively good health, but I’m fighting the whole getting older thing on a daily basis. I still want to hit the ball 250 yards every time and sexually knock it out of the park each time I get the chance (divorced and dating here). So, is this an OK “rage against the dying of the light” thing, or is this an older guy who refuses to accept aging gracefully and looks positively foolish to the rest of the world?

– Home Run

Dear Home Run:

It’s good to have goals. I don’t know that anyone, regardless of age, hits the ball 250 yards every time. That’s just not how intercourse or human bodies work. (And, dear readers, if you’re someone who believes you do knock it out of the park every time, don’t email me about it. Congratulations, and keep it to yourself.)

Sometimes the proverbial ball is going to get to 249. (We started with golf metaphors, so I’m going to stick to that sport.) Sometimes it’s going to get to 100 but everyone involved is going to have a great time on the green anyway. One of the things that is difficult about aging, but can be very rewarding in the long run, is seeing the changes in your body as an opportunity to get to know yourself anew. You’re not going to move through the world the way you did at 22, but also the 22-year-old you didn’t know the things you know. So, if you can set aside the goal of engaging with others like your younger self, I think you’ll find room to welcome in the experience you’ve accumulated in the past few decades and the ability to check in with your partner about what they want.

R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.” Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

Find more words of wisdom like this man who fights getting older – from insensitive parents to a husband’s mid-life crisis, DNA surprises, and more – in the Boomer Advice for Life department.

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