A Hard Pill to Swallow

After a firm rejection, Patricia Finn rethinks her retirement goals and her outlook on aging. “The more you do it, the better it gets,” she says.

I have always been a slow learner and only recently accepted the fact that I am aged out of the job market. Recovering from Covid isolation, in 2023 I was determined not to stay at home, so I searched the internet and found an ideal job. I submitted my application and was arrogant enough to be shocked when I was turned down. I have credentials galore so it must be, oh my gosh, it’s the age factor. Too old? But … but … how can that be?

I applied for a preschool assistant job because I have a strong background in early childhood. I’m the applicant who knows how to make play dough, and I can recite “Horton the Elephant” by heart. I am famous for my ability to intercept a tantrum, and everyone walks in Miss Pat’s class to the tune of “Walking Feet, Very Sweet, Walking, Walking, Walking Feet.” How did they miss all of this quality and instead focus on the ancient birth date? What more do they need? My circle time skills are excellent and, and … This is a hard pill to swallow. I should add that it is the only pill. At a recent doctor’s visit, I was spoken to like a celebrity because of all the checks in the “No” column on my new patient form. I had no idea that not needing medication was such an accomplishment.

I won’t reveal the shocking truth of my age, but I said goodbye to 65 quite a few years ago. I remember my mother lamenting that she was past career age, and she occasionally would claim that she would rather be working than retired. She had been retired for over 15 years and seemed to be enjoying daily walks on the beach, lunch with friends, and a full social calendar. With all of that fun and relaxation, the executive world still had its appeal.

Unlike Mom, I want to try something new. I still want to be a caterer, a fashion designer, an interior decorator, and a history professor. This ‘No’ column is filling up fast. Too late. Too late? I don’t want to work online, or remotely. I want to go somewhere and interact with other humans, at least the children.

Can I live with this harsh reality and settle for a long walk and coffee at the local café? I love long walks and I love drinking coffee in cafés, and if I go back to work how will I keep my apartment clean and pamper my kitties? What was I thinking? What if I need a nap? Can I nap while the children are napping? Not if I want to stay employed. No, I am happy that I was turned down, rejected, dismissed. Yup. Happy. Happy. Happy. That’s me.

Maybe I need another hobby. Hobbies are so non-judgmental, depending of course on the type of hobby. If I pick another craft, I am in trouble. I have come to terms with what we refer to in education as “poor fine motor skills.” I could take a French language class. Everyone else is speaking Spanish, but I like the idea. I will throw myself into French, drink five cups of coffee, and stop feeling sorry for myself. After all, I have an upbeat reputation to uphold. I like being turned down for something I can’t control. Can I stop the sun from rising? Turn back the clock? I can’t even do that at daylight saving time.

Now that I think about it, life is good. I don’t have to walk miles for clean water. I am sure there is crime here, but I haven’t seen any. My arms and legs work. “Miss Pat, have you lost your mind? You can’t be happy if you have not reached your goals, acquired success, or gotten a passing grade on the universal achievement exam.”

It’s true I have missed a lot of boats, cancelled all of the direct flights, and have frequently been lost in the woods. Why be discouraged? There’s something about life that gets more exciting as time progresses. It is sort of like playing a musical instrument. It takes practice, but the more you do it the better you get.

Patricia Finn writes FINNICKY, a weekly blog for seniors. She has been published in senior publications in New Hampshire, Montana, and Florida. Finn is an Amazon Author and a Goodreads Author and has served as a workshop host for the National Center for Family Literacy. She was syndicated with Senior Wire syndication and authored “Walking With My Foot In My Mouth.” Learn more and follow FINNICKY at PatriciaFinn.com.

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