Jealous New Wife Severs Parental Ties

A jealous new wife forbids communication between the ex-wife and the husband – even regarding their daughters. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.

Dear Eric:

I was married for 25 years to a good man. We just weren’t great as a married couple. We have two grown children that live on their own.

Now that our amicable divorce is final, he has moved in with the person he started seeing while we were divorcing. I respect the relationship and I’m happy for them. The problem is, she has cut me out of any communication with him.

Apparently, she doesn’t believe our relationship is appropriate and now he is trying to make her happy by telling me not to contact him anymore. There are things regarding our daughters that I would like to discuss with him. I can’t understand how us talking can be an issue.

I realize this is out of my control, but I am having a hard time accepting it. Knowing the conversations that we have had during our divorce process and how we both agreed that our friendly relationship was best for our family going forward. Am I out of line here?

– Amicable Ex

Dear Amicable:

You’re not out of line. Your ex’s new partner may be feeling insecure because you have a longstanding and healthy relationship with your ex. Not your problem … but it will probably continue to be your problem.

You should respect what he’s asking for, but be clear to him, calmly and reasonably, it’s not what you discussed with respect to your daughters. I wouldn’t press it though. This relationship is still new and pales in comparison to the depth and breadth of your relationship. Give it time to settle and reach out when/if your daughters need it.

R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.” Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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