Advice from Amy: Grandparents Resent Child's Drama

Dear Amy: My husband and I have two granddaughters whom we cherish.

I am growing increasingly concerned with the behavior of their parents toward the youngest one.

“Camille” has always been the “drama queen.”

If she didn’t get her way, she pitched a fit and her parents acquiesced.

As she got older, they catered to most every whim of this child’s drama and almost always deferred to her.

Camille has refused to get the COVID vaccination and her parents will not insist on it.

She is a young adult and I think her parents can and should educate her on the necessity of getting the vaccination and demand that, as long as she is living with them and they are paying her way in life, she must comply for her safety and the safety of those around her.

Our other granddaughter is given “a back seat” to her sister.

Any suggestions as to what, if anything, can or should be done?

– Concerned Granny

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Dear Granny: The best part of being a grandparent is also occasionally the most frustrating part; you are not the parent!

Yippee! You don’t have to deal with the daily stuff and nonsense of everyday parenting.

You have every right to share your own valuable perspective on parenting with your own children, but you can’t make them follow your own common-sense advice.

Now that these two grandchildren are older, it is appropriate for you to treat them individually, to forge more adultlike relationships with them, and to react with proportional consequences regarding their behavior – without resorting to “drama.”

So, if “Camille” refuses to be vaccinated, you can explain to her why this is necessary and how her vaccination status could have a direct impact on you.

If she continues to refuse the vaccine, you likely are not going to want to spend time in proximity to her.

That’s the logical consequence of her choice.

If the other granddaughter is more cooperative, interested in others, vaccinated, and easier to be around, then you are going to forge a closer relationship with her. I suggest you befriend her.

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068

© 2021 by Amy Dickinson